She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm like, not good at living.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
