True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
How does it feel to date your dad?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
