And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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