I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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