Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
