please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize