Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
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she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
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I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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