can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
