she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
