The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
