what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
