I wish i was in the wii world.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
