Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
mondays should just be called national damage control day
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
