It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
