you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
