dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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