you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
