i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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