1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
do nipples grow back?
Come on in and take your pants off
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