Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
