Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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