dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
