i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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