Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize
