So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
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