It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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