I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
