If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
