He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
