If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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