I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
