too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I had to cum in my sink.
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