I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
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i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
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I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He shit in the fireplace
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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