Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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