This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
