I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
