Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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