Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
