Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
