I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
