Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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