I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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