I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize