your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
