OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize