you're like a bully in the Christmas story
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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