You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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