he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
