ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
