I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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