we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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