Where is the hickey?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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