She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
