listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
