Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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