I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
