have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Do vagina's smell?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
