i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
worst night to have a conscience
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
