Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
