Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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