I just made out with a guy for $7.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
