i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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