I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize