Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize