where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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