those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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