I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
4 words: hood of his car
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
