Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
