fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
People in love make me want to vomit
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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