woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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