new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
