so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
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I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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