found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
