This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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